How to Quit Your Job and Maximize Your Last Week: Tips for Trump from Corporate AmericaThere is no sweeter joy in life than when you quit your job. All the projects that seemed so important fade away. You finally clean out…Jan 15, 2021Jan 15, 2021
21 New Year’s Resolutions for 20212021 is off to a great start. There have been zero attempted coups, troubling examples of political cowardice or dads on Twitter forcing…Jan 8, 2021Jan 8, 2021
Work Retire Die’s 2020 AwardsWe have big plans for 2021 and are knocking on the door of taking over the Internet. Until then though, let’s look back on the year that…Jan 4, 2021Jan 4, 2021
Overanalyzing Lyrics from Playboi Carti’s “Whole Lotta Red”After numerous delays of the album due to SoundCloud leaks and him being weird, Playboi Carti has finally released his much-anticipated…Jan 4, 2021Jan 4, 2021
What I’ll Miss About Office Holiday Parties This YearIt’s the official last day of real work for the year and 90% of the emails you’ll send today will be some variation of ‘Looks good! If we…Dec 20, 2020Dec 20, 2020
What I Think Each New ‘Evermore’ Song Is About Without Actually Listening to ItIn case you aren’t addicted to the Internet, Taylor Swift dropped a new album last night called “Evermore,” in a desperate attempt to…Dec 11, 2020Dec 11, 2020
Power Ranking Christmas Figures by How Easily I Could Beat the Shit Out of ThemThe holiday season is in full swing and with it comes the full-on bombardment of Christmas movies, decorations, and general seasonal cheer…Dec 11, 2020Dec 11, 2020
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Working Between Thanksgiving and New Year’sCongrats everyone. You made it through Thanksgiving and it’s time for the most glorious time of the year — the 4 weeks in between today…Dec 11, 2020Dec 11, 2020
The Most Unlucky Things That Have Ever Happened to Me at WorkToday, we are going to go through some of the worst things that have ever happened to me at work and decide how unlucky they were on a…Dec 3, 2020Dec 3, 2020